I've been thinking about funerals.
Not morbidly,
Not hopelessly,
Not anticipatingly,
Just funerals.

Especially my own.

I want my funeral to be,
           

BIG!

I want it to be about me.
Lavish, wild, people screaming in the isles, Raising highly drunken toasts to me,
To all that I've done that made their lives more enjoyable.

I want my funeral to be,
                

Small.

I want it to be about others.
Quiet, calm, reflecting on the bond we shared;
But with hints of humor,
To remind them I liked my life,
And that I want them to like theirs too.

I want to be remembered.
I want to be missed.
I want tears and laughter and thoughts of better times.

Times when I've made their life memorable,
Times when I've made them cry,
Times when I've made them angry even,
But mostly times when I've made them laugh.

Laughter is the pattern of my life.

I laugh when I'm happy.
I laugh when I'm tired.
I laugh when things get awkward.
I laugh just to laugh.

I find humor in everything,
Because I'm not funny.
I try, but I'm not.


But back to my funeral.

I want it to be about,
All the times I've made people laugh.
All the times I've succeeded in being funny.
All the times I've embarrassed myself,
All the times I've tried to cheer people up,
All the times I've made people laugh just to
break the ice
       or the tension,
       or the silence.

I'd like the people, who come,
To be glad they knew me,
To be glad I made them happy,
To be glad they knew that I would do anything to see them smile.
I'd like them to be thankful that I was a part of their life.

I want my funeral to be,
     

Full of laughter.

Mostly, because I think that would be funny.